Have Nø Fear

WHEW. 

Thats the only word that feels accurate enough to wrap up this month. 

I had three weeks to prepare for my first 8k. Was I ambitious or a little unhinged? You decide. 

When my coworker invited me, my first thought was: 

Why would I pay to run? 😭

Like… I can just do that for free. 

I didn’t get it. 

But to be fair, I remembered what it felt like running with a team in high school. The spirit. The shared camaraderie and momentum. It’s an environment that expects more out of you. 

Still, paying to run felt crazy. 

And yet, I said yes. 

Yes, I consider myself to be moderately active. No, I didn’t feel ready. Not for this. 

I just wanted to see what it might feel like to finish. 

I started telling people I planned on doing this to lock myself in even more. Saying it out loud makes it even more real. Now I have to follow through, right? 

As expected, people had opinions.

“Three weeks? Yeah… you’re gonna die.”
“You’re running the whole thing?”

If I’m being honest, there was a small part of me that wondered the same thing.

But I didn’t really care.

I wasn’t focused on perfection.

I wasn’t trying to be a professional athlete.
I just wanted to finish.

Race day came and I was tired before anything started (probably my fault for going to a concert the night before). 

I woke up at 5:30am for a race that didn’t begin until 9. Extra? Absolutely. But to know me is to know that extra is me. 

I met with my coworkers and we made our way downtown. At this point, it hit me that I was surrounded by tens of thousands of people — it looked and felt insane. 

It took forever to even reach the start line. I was placed in one of the later groups, slowly being herded forward step by step.

(And for next time: I will be improving my pace so I don’t have to wait that long again.)

Eventually, we got there.

And just like that — we were off.

Everyone I came with disappeared instantly. I was alone. 

Mile one was controlled. I didn’t want to lose momentum by starting too fast.

Mile two hit and I realized I made a critical mistake. 

Too. Many. Layers.

It was about 34 degrees downtown that day, so I thought I was being smart. I was not. I was, in fact, overheating. 

Lesson learned: run light. Always.

The sun came and went between miles two and three, so I was okay for a bit. 

But, by mile four I was unraveling. 

My Runkeeper app was off.

I was hotter than I should’ve been.

And mentally? I felt behind.

It wasn’t enough to quit, but it definitely slowed me down.

I kept jogging, but I surely wasn’t running anymore. I was upset and trying to hold on to the little momentum I had left.

Then came the bridges and hills. 

Those were the hardest parts of the race, nothing prepared me for that. 😭

Each one felt like a personal attack.

Every time I thought I was through the worst of it, another one popped up. 

Seriously? 

At one point, I finally broke and walked.

I needed a moment.

I was near the end, though. I knew it because I heard someone behind me yell:

“DON’T STOP NOW! It’s right THERE!!”

I chuckled. The voice was so animated.

 “Don’t you want it? Because I WANT IT!”

The man with the animated voice ran right past me in some type of superhero costume. 

That tracks.

But then I looked up…

And I actually saw the finish line.

So, I picked up my pace and sprinted intentionally. There was nothing graceful or effortless about it. There was just no way I was letting that clock hit 60 minutes.

And then…

I crossed.

I immediately stepped to the side, not even for dramatic effect, but because I genuinely needed to take my coat off.

A volunteer urged me to keep me moving. I just looked at him in his eyes and said, breathlessly:

“I. NEED… to take this coat off.”

He understood. 😭

After that, it was a blur of being herded forward, grabbing my medal (instant dopamine), and realizing there were snacks (even more dopamine).

I stood there eating, waiting for my coworkers, processing.

I did it.

No perfect training plan.
No ideal conditions.
No flawless execution.

I just… finished.

You don’t need perfect preparation to prove something to yourself.
You just need to start, push yourself to keep going, and finish strong — however that may look for you.

I didn’t run the whole way.
I wasn’t the fastest.
And I definitely overdressed.

Still finished though.

So if you’re reading this — move your body.

Do the hard thing.

Don’t wait until you’re ready.

But because you might still surprise yourself when you’re not.