Have Nø Fear

Love letters hit a little different when they come from someone who you once thought was the one. 

They wrap you up in beautiful, romantic little words and make you feel seen again.

That’s how I felt last month when I got a love letter from my ex, and I can’t lie, it took me right back to that place. I remember what it was like being together. The chemistry? Undeniable. Attraction was never an issue. Affection wasn’t either. Being together felt right. It genuinely felt meant to be. 

But chemistry was the only thing we ever agreed on. 

Chemistry feels urgent — but if I’m being honest, it’s fleeting. It pulls you in and before you have time to think about what comes next, you’re entangled. You’re thinking, this is it. This has to be what love feels like.

And maybe it is… partly. 

It’s just missing part of the formula: compatibility.

Have you ever been with someone and everything felt right, but when it came time to talk values, expectations, or anything slightly more serious than your plans for the day — boom. Dumpster fire.

Yeah. That’s how things ended. 

That was over a year ago. 

So when this love letter made its appearance in my mailbox, it caught me off guard. It was not something I expected. It was a nice enough gesture. It felt intense. The chemistry was exactly the same — which made me nostalgic. Sigh.

But, it lacked what I needed most: a plan for a change in behavior.

My ex isn’t a bad person. I just know we’re not good for each other, and I understand that doesn’t make what we had any less real.

I no longer believe that love requires constant justification. Love moves mountains, and if nothing’s moving forward there’s a problem. 

And at my grown age, I know for a fact that is not what I want. 

At some point, two people need to be on the same page in order to move forward. So on this Valentine’s Day, I’m gifting myself by choosing clarity over chemistry.